Amazing is Grace

I realize I'm broken. I have admitted and to this day I confess that I am indeed depraved, as all humanity, and I could even stand with Paul and say I'm the chief of sinners.

It is, however, one thing to know it intuitively, and another thing to see the magnitude of my sin. This is what it's like: I can say I'm ugly all day long, but it isn't till I look in the mirror that I see how ugly I am. Then it hurts, so I look away from the mirror and assure myself that I'm OK. I'm ugly, but I'm OK. (I actually don't think I'm ugly - please don't concern yourself for me on that matter.)

As a matter of fact, in his letter, James describes it that very way when contrasting those that are hearers and doers of the Word.

22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. (James 1)

Notice how James says "his natural face" pointing out that our natural state is depravity. My natural state is depravity. Naturally, I look like sin. But what exactly does that look like?

The sermon Saturday night was an IN-YOUR-FACE mirror. Patterson started talking about the Old Man and the New Man and the transformation that is supposed to occur when one walks with Christ. It's this thing called Progressive Sanctification. Big word. Learn it. Basically what it means is that in one's walk with Christ, one is going to be formed to look more and more like Christ. (Not physically, unless your middle-eastern and really want to, rather spiritually in the way one lives life.) This is possible one of the most painful things to undergo, because letting the desires of the flesh go isn't the easiest thing in the world.

Patterson said, (i paraphrase), i know that we want to avoid a list of do's and don't's as Christians today, but it's not that I'm giving you a To Do list... Paul's giving you a To Do List. And here it is:

25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4)

Now let's take it verse by verse as I unload how this passage speaks to my soul. I don't have a huge problem with lying so much as being honest. I'm learning to live my life within my community, and with those close to me, in a way that's honest and even vulnerable. It is MISERABLE sometimes to reveal whats going on inside of me, but freeing in the end. Next comes the verse that literally STABBED ME IN THE EYE concerning anger and bitterness. For the last 10 months, I have been holding on tightly to a beautiful bitterness which I buttered up with excuses, giving myself permission to hold on to this because of how I was hurt. How many times have I let the sun set on my anger? How many restless nights have I endured in this rage? How many claims have I made for my own well-being and personal happiness? How selfish have I been to refuse to humble myself and remain wrapped in this awful bitterness! And as my hardened heart has festered how much opportunity have I given the devil....


I cried. A lot. So I was wronged. That is not worth holding onto for 10 months and putting the kingdom aside. So now I have to learn to be selfless. Now I must remind myself to not let the sun set on my anger. I must be careful when it comes to my rage because it is by far one of the easiest and simplest ways to let me fall. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be FAR from me - let me be kind to all, tenderhearted, forgiving, as God in Christ forgave me.

How quick am I to forget how God in Christ forgave me... This is the point in which I praise Him for His Grace... His Grace is indeed amazing. I am indeed a wretch. It's hard to accept grace when I know how awful I am... but this is when I must remember it's not about me but about Christ and the Father's glory. I couldn't live a day without His Grace.