God is Faithful

Last night, my roomie-to-be Kara sat at our computer desk with eyes filled with tears and fears that ends wouldn't meet this time. She had a job interview scheduled for the following morning at 9:00am and she was scared she just wouldn't get the job. As I watched her and listened to her spill her anxiety I couldn't help but empathize yet assure her that everything would be okay. It almost sounds so absurd to tell someone who is so afraid that things would be okay, that in the end all is well.

It wasn't much longer than a year ago that I too lay in bed sobbing into my pillow, with eyes so puffed, I couldn't cover it up. The two months I was unemployed seemed eternally hopeless. No matter where I looked or who I asked, doors kept shutting on my face. Not just that, I felt terribly alone, in such a way that I can ask no one for help. And the one person I was supposed to be helping I became a cumbersome burden. Hopelessness. Rejection. I came to be well-acquainted with them.

In the midst of the twice a day cheese and bread slices, I'd be surprised with gas or grocery money and one day, even a check to cover the portion of rent that I couldn't cover. How the thought that I was in so much need crossed someone's mind enough to cause them to act on it I do not know.

One day, a girl that would soon be my roommate and one of my closest friends said something along the lines of God sustaining all things and that if He would turn away for a moment, all things would seize to exist. He's so intimate with his creation that He keeps all things to the last tiniest molecule together.

As I drove to school one day, I was again wrestling with fear and anxiety and hopelessness when I gazed up at the sky and saw a massive cloud and the thought came to me, "God is sustaining that cloud." As my eyes gathered to something closer, I saw a tree, and thought "If He looked away for just one second, that tree would seize to exist." Still my eyes moved to a street sign, and I thought, "Even that sign lies beneath God's watch." And closer my sight let me to my car, and I thought, "This thing shoulda died a long time ago, .. if it were not for God's grace." And as my eyes came to rest on my hands on the steering wheel, God made it clear to me, "I am sustaining YOU."

In the weeks that followed, an indescribable peace fell on me that I could not understand and once I gathered my spirit and began to walk in faith again, God answered prayers that had gone unanswered when I prayed them without faith. He granted me faith through the roughest moments in that time. It was indeed "in the darkness that I saw the light."

Last night I told Kara this, and we prayed together, trusting that all was well and that Father would provide and knowing that as believers everything is a win-win situation.

If we live it's by His grace and for His glory; If we die, it's by His grace we're in His glory.

This morning she got the job she wanted.

Thank you Father for your grace.